things really arent getting any better atm
its just getting worse and worse and i feel like im losing all control of everything :/
i HATEE (well strong word - seriously dislike - a lot) drunk people that you dont know all that well
making slyyy remarks basically hinting towards saying YOU FAT BITCH
really makes you want to die.
they dont have a clue what theyve said or how hard it hits you and want it makes you want to do.
seriously hate myself right now.
Friday 29 January 2010
Wednesday 27 January 2010
Monday 25 January 2010
meh
guys are gay.
they actually depress you and make you wanna eat.
haaaa not happening.
i've come to terms with the fact i have an ED (eating disorder babes)
Ana - iloveyou.
stay strong :]
being thin is the only thing that matters. <3
they actually depress you and make you wanna eat.
haaaa not happening.
i've come to terms with the fact i have an ED (eating disorder babes)
Ana - iloveyou.
stay strong :]
being thin is the only thing that matters. <3
Sunday 24 January 2010
ABC....
decided to start the ABC diet today..
ill let you know how it goes :]
Ana Boot Camp
day1: 500 calories(or less)
day2: 500 calories(or less)
3:300 calories
4:400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast
wish me look (:
ill let you know how it goes :]
Ana Boot Camp
day1: 500 calories(or less)
day2: 500 calories(or less)
3:300 calories
4:400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast
wish me look (:
Saturday 23 January 2010
home sweet home
not been able to update for a while,
been at my mates for a week
that was quite hard to not eat without anybody noticing,
but its not too bad at college as everyones mostly to busy to eat so i just say ive got work to do :]
not binging at weekends :)
normally crash at this girls house so when were walking back from partys they aaaalways stop to buy pizzas and chips yuck.
mostly drink vodie+coke when we go out..
vodkas low in cals so thats alright
but then its the stuff you mix it with thats full of sugar and cals and CRAP
how annoying.
suggestions?
so im thinking yess im home..my amazing bed :]..and easier to go back to normal and not eat..
so the rest of the fam decides to drop by the day i get back for a nice BIG FAT family meal,
being cooked as we speak :/
oh god no..
been at my mates for a week
that was quite hard to not eat without anybody noticing,
but its not too bad at college as everyones mostly to busy to eat so i just say ive got work to do :]
not binging at weekends :)
normally crash at this girls house so when were walking back from partys they aaaalways stop to buy pizzas and chips yuck.
mostly drink vodie+coke when we go out..
vodkas low in cals so thats alright
but then its the stuff you mix it with thats full of sugar and cals and CRAP
how annoying.
suggestions?
so im thinking yess im home..my amazing bed :]..and easier to go back to normal and not eat..
so the rest of the fam decides to drop by the day i get back for a nice BIG FAT family meal,
being cooked as we speak :/
oh god no..
Tuesday 12 January 2010
New 'Diet' idea..
I've decided to live off one piece of fruit a day
+ lots of water
+ brews :]
tis going well so far :D
STILL need mother to buy scales grr.
40 reasons not to eat..
1. You will be FAT if you eat today. Just put it off one more day.
2. You don't NEED food.
3. Fat people can't fit everywhere.
4. Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.
5. You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.
6. People will remember you as the 'beautiful thin one.'
7. If someone has to describe you, they'll say, 'oh, she weighs like 100, 110 lbs.'
8. Guys will want to get to know you, not laugh at you and walk away.
9. Starving is an example of excellent willpower.
10. You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
11. Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.
12. If you eat, you'll look like those disgusting, fat, ghetto and trailer-trash hookers on Jerry Springer.
13. The models that everyone claim are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? ... NO....
14. Too many people inAmerica
15. People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.
16. Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them?
17. Anyone can have 'inner beauty,' but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
18. You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
19. Only thin people are graceful.
20. If you slap a fat person, you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin. That's disgusting.
21. Do you want people to say, 'For god's sake get off of me, you're crushing me; I can't breathe!' or 'You are soo light.' ?
22. Underweight, a.k.a. perfect body.
23. Ballerina? Or beanbag?
24. I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds. . .like in my reoccurring dream I love that dream.
25. I want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.
26. Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and drag you down.
27. Nothing can't be fixed with hunger and weightloss.
28. Saying 'No, thanks,' to food is saying 'Yes, please,' to THIN!
29. Fat people are so huge, people see through them and it's like they don't exist.
30. The only time people notice a fat person is when they get in the way of that beautiful thin girl walking by. (I know that one sounds horrible)(Oh well)
31. Have you ever seen a person NOT notice a walking skeleton?
32. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
33. Is food more important than happiness in life? Your appearance to others?
34. Eating is conforming.
35. When you start to get dizzy and weak, you're almost there.
36. Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.
37. Food is mean and sneaky. It tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly, and unhappy.
38. Think of anorexia as your secret weapon.
39. If you can name one reason to be fat, I will name a million to be skinny. I'll name them even if you can't find a reason to be fat.
40. Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.
Think Thin :]
Love Fatty x<3x
+ lots of water
+ brews :]
tis going well so far :D
STILL need mother to buy scales grr.
40 reasons not to eat..
1. You will be FAT if you eat today. Just put it off one more day.
2. You don't NEED food.
3. Fat people can't fit everywhere.
4. Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.
5. You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.
6. People will remember you as the 'beautiful thin one.'
7. If someone has to describe you, they'll say, 'oh, she weighs like 100, 110 lbs.'
8. Guys will want to get to know you, not laugh at you and walk away.
9. Starving is an example of excellent willpower.
10. You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
11. Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.
12. If you eat, you'll look like those disgusting, fat, ghetto and trailer-trash hookers on Jerry Springer.
13. The models that everyone claim are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? ... NO....
14. Too many people in
15. People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.
16. Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them?
17. Anyone can have 'inner beauty,' but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
18. You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
19. Only thin people are graceful.
20. If you slap a fat person, you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin. That's disgusting.
21. Do you want people to say, 'For god's sake get off of me, you're crushing me; I can't breathe!' or 'You are soo light.' ?
22. Underweight, a.k.a. perfect body.
23. Ballerina? Or beanbag?
24. I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds. . .like in my reoccurring dream I love that dream.
25. I want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.
26. Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and drag you down.
27. Nothing can't be fixed with hunger and weightloss.
28. Saying 'No, thanks,' to food is saying 'Yes, please,' to THIN!
29. Fat people are so huge, people see through them and it's like they don't exist.
30. The only time people notice a fat person is when they get in the way of that beautiful thin girl walking by. (I know that one sounds horrible)(Oh well)
31. Have you ever seen a person NOT notice a walking skeleton?
32. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
33. Is food more important than happiness in life? Your appearance to others?
34. Eating is conforming.
35. When you start to get dizzy and weak, you're almost there.
36. Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.
37. Food is mean and sneaky. It tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly, and unhappy.
38. Think of anorexia as your secret weapon.
39. If you can name one reason to be fat, I will name a million to be skinny. I'll name them even if you can't find a reason to be fat.
40. Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.
Think Thin :]
Love Fatty x<3x
Friday 8 January 2010
hey yoooo :]
hmm wasn't gonna write today,
failed toooo badly yesterday :/
ate...then purged...but still not any good!
and my sisters throwing a baby shower which i havee to go to inabit..
so they'll be like food + cake eughhhh (N)
THINSPO THINSPO THINSPO
here's a lil pep talk i found for yas ^_^
So you are craving food right now, huh? What do you think you are doing?! Don't you dare go anywhere near food! Don't touch it, don't even think about eating it. What do you want to become, a fat cow?! I am your best friend, and if you eat, you are failing me and letting me down. If you eat, it shows how little self control you have. That pain in your stomach right now, that is me, and that is your fat melting away. When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins. Summer is coming. You want to be able to walk around at the beach in your bikini, don't you? You want to be able to walk around in your bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs. You want to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs. You want to go to the shops and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it. You made a commitment to me. I am your life, your obsession. Don't break what we have. I will give you everything you want, but you have to give me what I want. And I want you to stay away from food. Go have some water. Go drink some tea or coffee. Or better yet, go to the gym fattie! Don't show me what little self control you have. Don't defy me. You know that if you go and eat right now, you will end up standing over the toilet, puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching. You will regret eating as soon as those calories and fat slip past your tonsils and down into your body to that extra roll of fat on your stomach. You are going to get cellulite. You are going to look like a typical fat soccer mom. I can give you so much. I can give you a great body. Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach. Show me you love me and can keep me a secret and stay away from food and I'll give you those shaped little thighs. Show me you can run until you drop and I will give you a cute ass. You love me. If you eat now and throw away what you are working for, I will hate you. And you know you will hate yourself. You have a meal plan, you have goals and dreams. Don't throw that all away. Don't give up what you really want, for something you want now. Don't eat fattie. Don't fail me. Don't eat.
love life, think thin!
Love Fatty <3x
hmm wasn't gonna write today,
failed toooo badly yesterday :/
ate...then purged...but still not any good!
and my sisters throwing a baby shower which i havee to go to inabit..
so they'll be like food + cake eughhhh (N)
THINSPO THINSPO THINSPO
here's a lil pep talk i found for yas ^_^
So you are craving food right now, huh? What do you think you are doing?! Don't you dare go anywhere near food! Don't touch it, don't even think about eating it. What do you want to become, a fat cow?! I am your best friend, and if you eat, you are failing me and letting me down. If you eat, it shows how little self control you have. That pain in your stomach right now, that is me, and that is your fat melting away. When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins. Summer is coming. You want to be able to walk around at the beach in your bikini, don't you? You want to be able to walk around in your bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs. You want to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs. You want to go to the shops and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it. You made a commitment to me. I am your life, your obsession. Don't break what we have. I will give you everything you want, but you have to give me what I want. And I want you to stay away from food. Go have some water. Go drink some tea or coffee. Or better yet, go to the gym fattie! Don't show me what little self control you have. Don't defy me. You know that if you go and eat right now, you will end up standing over the toilet, puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching. You will regret eating as soon as those calories and fat slip past your tonsils and down into your body to that extra roll of fat on your stomach. You are going to get cellulite. You are going to look like a typical fat soccer mom. I can give you so much. I can give you a great body. Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach. Show me you love me and can keep me a secret and stay away from food and I'll give you those shaped little thighs. Show me you can run until you drop and I will give you a cute ass. You love me. If you eat now and throw away what you are working for, I will hate you. And you know you will hate yourself. You have a meal plan, you have goals and dreams. Don't throw that all away. Don't give up what you really want, for something you want now. Don't eat fattie. Don't fail me. Don't eat.
love life, think thin!
Love Fatty <3x
Thursday 7 January 2010
+ so it begins..
Thursday 7th January 2010
so far today i have eaten: activia yoghurt, glass of water, + hot chocolate.
i guess its not much but i still feel fat :( [stay strong.]
food food food is all thats on my mind.
DONT EAT.
Theres this guy i've known for about a year now, he's one of the very few people that actually understand ME and for some reason i actually care about what he thinks of me which i dont normally do with people.
So last night i told him to call me fat for some much needed Thinspo. And he did..and it worked.
I think i actually nearly cried (HA!)
So i'll keep telling him to do that :]
EUGH! tummy rumbling so much.
gonna get back to revision now.
**********************************************************
LOL
just been looking at pictures of this guys ex, everyones been going on about how she's 'fat',
and yet she's still skinnier than me! wow. bitch.
**********************************************************
so far today i have eaten: activia yoghurt, glass of water, + hot chocolate.
i guess its not much but i still feel fat :( [stay strong.]
food food food is all thats on my mind.
DONT EAT.
Theres this guy i've known for about a year now, he's one of the very few people that actually understand ME and for some reason i actually care about what he thinks of me which i dont normally do with people.
So last night i told him to call me fat for some much needed Thinspo. And he did..and it worked.
I think i actually nearly cried (HA!)
So i'll keep telling him to do that :]
EUGH! tummy rumbling so much.
gonna get back to revision now.
**********************************************************
LOL
just been looking at pictures of this guys ex, everyones been going on about how she's 'fat',
and yet she's still skinnier than me! wow. bitch.
**********************************************************
First Blog :]
wednesday 6th january 2010
New year, New start. Right?
WRONG.
LOL - nothing has changed.
yet.
eating habbits are so so bad after christmas.
and i was doing quite well before, i even panicked about HAVING to eat at christmas
and then i started to eat
and eat
..and eat..
EPIC FAIL!
so i started to not really care again, and then new years eve someone took photos of me with a guy i got with
-eugh- removed tags straight away obviously! and then she said he'd commented it not nice things..
probably something along the lines of,
WHAT WAS I THINKING SHES SO FAT
i nearly went to look but tbh i dont really want to know what it says
so that put me back on track.
im DETERMINED to be skinny.
i really want to meet this guy because i quite like him, but i keep saying no when he asks me to go see him because i dont want to meet him until i'm skinny! otherwise he'll take one look and me be like WTF and run off
haha. i laugh but it probably shouldn't be funny.
ahh i wish i was just naturally skinny!
life would be so much easier.
i need a plan of action of what to do..but browsing through sites theres NOTHING good, except for that one pro ana site
i always use.
i need some more thinspo
something to really trigure me.
i guess ill just start off by eating as LITTLE AS POSSIBLE
and i really need to do excercise but my sleeping habbits are f*cked after the holidays so im falling asleep all the
time, exams are next week and i need to spend every second on revision or i'll definately fail.
i'll fail anyway.
ohwell, i'll do my best.
things HAVE to work out if i want to get with this guy anytime soon, and i so want a guy atm!
wish me look
think thin.
love FATTY <3x
New year, New start. Right?
WRONG.
LOL - nothing has changed.
yet.
eating habbits are so so bad after christmas.
and i was doing quite well before, i even panicked about HAVING to eat at christmas
and then i started to eat
and eat
..and eat..
EPIC FAIL!
so i started to not really care again, and then new years eve someone took photos of me with a guy i got with
-eugh- removed tags straight away obviously! and then she said he'd commented it not nice things..
probably something along the lines of,
WHAT WAS I THINKING SHES SO FAT
i nearly went to look but tbh i dont really want to know what it says
so that put me back on track.
im DETERMINED to be skinny.
i really want to meet this guy because i quite like him, but i keep saying no when he asks me to go see him because i dont want to meet him until i'm skinny! otherwise he'll take one look and me be like WTF and run off
haha. i laugh but it probably shouldn't be funny.
ahh i wish i was just naturally skinny!
life would be so much easier.
i need a plan of action of what to do..but browsing through sites theres NOTHING good, except for that one pro ana site
i always use.
i need some more thinspo
something to really trigure me.
i guess ill just start off by eating as LITTLE AS POSSIBLE
and i really need to do excercise but my sleeping habbits are f*cked after the holidays so im falling asleep all the
time, exams are next week and i need to spend every second on revision or i'll definately fail.
i'll fail anyway.
ohwell, i'll do my best.
things HAVE to work out if i want to get with this guy anytime soon, and i so want a guy atm!
wish me look
think thin.
love FATTY <3x
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