these days just get more and more depressive..
if you cant tell.?
i feel so powerless.
so messed up.
im so lost right now. really dont know what to do/where to go.







help.

things really arent getting any better atm
its just getting worse and worse and i feel like im losing all control of everything :/
i HATEE (well strong word - seriously dislike - a lot) drunk people that you dont know all that well
making slyyy remarks basically hinting towards saying YOU FAT BITCH
really makes you want to die.
they dont have a clue what theyve said or how hard it hits you and want it makes you want to do.
seriously hate myself right now.

i just wanna curl up into a ball and stay there until im skinny enough to feel okay.
:/

meh

guys are gay.
they actually depress you and make you wanna eat.
haaaa not happening.
i've come to terms with the fact i have an ED (eating disorder babes)
Ana - iloveyou.
stay strong :]



being thin is the only thing that matters. <3

ABC....

decided to start the ABC diet today..
ill let you know how it goes :]

Ana Boot Camp
day1: 500 calories(or less)
day2: 500 calories(or less)
3:300 calories
4:400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast

wish me look (:

home sweet home

not been able to update for a while,
been at my mates for a week
that was quite hard to not eat without anybody noticing,
but its not too bad at college as everyones mostly to busy to eat so i just say ive got work to do :]
not binging at weekends :)
normally crash at this girls house so when were walking back from partys they aaaalways stop to buy pizzas and chips yuck.
mostly drink vodie+coke when we go out..
vodkas low in cals so thats alright
but then its the stuff you mix it with thats full of sugar and cals and CRAP
how annoying.
suggestions?
so im thinking yess im home..my amazing bed :]..and easier to go back to normal and not eat..
so the rest of the fam decides to drop by the day i get back for a nice BIG FAT family meal,
being cooked as we speak :/
oh god no..

New 'Diet' idea..

I've decided to live off one piece of fruit a day
+ lots of water
+ brews :]

tis going well so far :D
STILL need mother to buy scales grr.

40 reasons not to eat..

1. You will be FAT if you eat today. Just put it off one more day.
2. You don't NEED food.
3. Fat people can't fit everywhere.
4. Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.
5. You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.
6. People will remember you as the 'beautiful thin one.'
7. If someone has to describe you, they'll say, 'oh, she weighs like 100, 110 lbs.'
8. Guys will want to get to know you, not laugh at you and walk away.
9. Starving is an example of excellent willpower.
10. You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
11. Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite.
12. If you eat, you'll look like those disgusting, fat, ghetto and trailer-trash hookers on Jerry Springer.
13. The models that everyone claim are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? ... NO....
14. Too many people in America are obese.
15. People who eat are selfish and unrealistic.
16. Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them?
17. Anyone can have 'inner beauty,' but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
18. You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
19. Only thin people are graceful.
20. If you slap a fat person, you can see a shockwave ripple over their skin. That's disgusting.
21. Do you want people to say, 'For god's sake get off of me, you're crushing me; I can't breathe!' or 'You are soo light.' ?
22. Underweight, a.k.a. perfect body.
23. Ballerina? Or beanbag?
24. I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds. . .like in my reoccurring dream I love that dream.
25. I want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.
26. Starve off the parts you don't need. They're ugly and drag you down.
27. Nothing can't be fixed with hunger and weightloss.
28. Saying 'No, thanks,' to food is saying 'Yes, please,' to THIN!
29. Fat people are so huge, people see through them and it's like they don't exist.
30. The only time people notice a fat person is when they get in the way of that beautiful thin girl walking by. (I know that one sounds horrible)(Oh well)
31. Have you ever seen a person NOT notice a walking skeleton?
32. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
33. Is food more important than happiness in life? Your appearance to others?
34. Eating is conforming.
35. When you start to get dizzy and weak, you're almost there.
36. Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.
37. Food is mean and sneaky. It tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly, and unhappy.
38. Think of anorexia as your secret weapon.
39. If you can name one reason to be fat, I will name a million to be skinny. I'll name them even if you can't find a reason to be fat.
40. Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.


Think Thin :]
Love Fatty x<3x